Breaking: Warm Air Rises!

You'd think this crusty bastard Don Imus was President or something involved in precipitating a Constitutional crisis and facing possible impeachment. But no, he's just a lousy shock jock, who anything but shockingly, might get fired because he has upset people with the same swarmy racism he and his unfunny staff have been spewing for years.

The only funny thing created by Imus and company is eons is the "sudden" realization by Imus advertisers that he is an offensive, arrogant loser. Not nearly as funny is the Anna Nicole Smith-level media coverage of this patently obvious fact. Hell, even the New York Times is playing along. Or maybe I'm giving the NYT way too much credit, and the Old Gray Lady has been digging nickels out of the journalistic gutter for a long time now.

The Imus non-story just points out: 1. how desperate media organizations are for diversions from Iraq coverage now that we have been enlightened on who the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby is; 2. what suckers the media is for solipsism and creating fake news as ersatz proof of having done something meaningful.

Yes Imus is an ass. And professional wrestling is still fixed. And Anna Nicole Smith and General Francisco Franco are still dead. In these troubled times it's so nice to have media outlets tell us over and over again what we already know. God forbid there be any actual news lurking about.


--- P.S.: Goodbye Blue Monday, Mr. Vonnegut...thanks for everything.

P.P.S.: 6:19 A.M. Thursday, the 12th: The following are the "latest AP wire" stories posted at seattletimes.com:

35 suspected Taliban killed in Afghanistan

Orangutans play video games at Ga. zoo

Scarnato is booted from 'American Idol'

Explosion rocks Iraqi parliament; 2 dead

Candidates to post videos on YouTube

A spoonful of "American Idol" sugar helps the medicine go down. Not to mention Orangutans...Mr. Kurt, you weren't an absurdist, just a realist.