"Officials announced a few hours ago that Valle de Atrisco has been chosen as the name for the proposed incorporated South Valley.This is one of those times where I wish Burque Babble had 14 million readers and we could have a fun little snarky "contest" with hundreds of folks submitting silly, funny, tacky, almost cruel but certainly not cruel names instead of the unbelievably lame "Valle de Atrisco" moniker.
The name was the most popular choice among several that residents voted on during a "Name That Town" campaign conducted during the past month or so, State Rep. Miguel Garcia tells ABQJournal.com."
--ABQJournal.com (the free part of the site with newsy updates). 6.30.09
Would that be fun or what? Almost as fun as envisioning a day in which I, a South Valley resident, would actually tell someone I lived in "Valle de Atrisco". Of all the things absolutely impossible to do without falling on the floor laughing, saying one lives in "Valle de Atrisco" out loud must be #1 or #2.
New Acquaintance: Hey, I just moved to Albuquerque, over in what I believe is called the Ridgecrest area. Where do you live?
Me: I live in Valle de Atrisco.
New Acquaintance: Whoa. Did you just have a sudden heart attack? Why did you collapse to the ground?
Me: (uncontrollable laughter to the point that drool oozes from my hysterically laughing mouth)
New Acquaintance: Man, do we need to get a doctor? You're turning blue.
And here is the end of this post, the place where hundreds of commenters would post bitingly insightful, and not altogether politically sensitive names. Oh well, we're a few million readers short for that sort of thing here.
But I'll give us a start anyway....
Proposed Names for Proposed Incorporated City in Albuquerque's South Valley
- Nobless Hilless
- North Los Lunas
- Valle de Graffiti
- The Land Thai and Vietnamese Food Forgot (I know, tough to write on an envelope)
- Pheasantville (we have lots of 'em here..plus you got that whole "Pleasantville" thing)
- Los UnRanchos
- Anachronism Village
- South Barelas
- Junkyard Heights
- Pie Town (yes, I know this involves the need to buy the name from the existing Pie Town, but a great name like this is worth it)
- Compton (again, stolen, but I think this name encapsulates the look/vibe I get when I mention to long-time Albuquerque residents that I live in the South Valley)
- South Valley
- Burque del Sur (only because this was be as laugh out loud funny to say as "Valle de Atrisco")
P.S.: Speaking of stealing tidbits from ABQJournal.com, did anyone else notice the rather strange second-hand opinion newstoid piece regarding some advocacy group's report on health insurance coverage in Albuquerque? In its attempt to be more "blog-like", I guess the hipster Journal types (and there's three words you never thought you'd see together) are "blogging" reactions/opinions of fellow reporters, using their cubicle neighbors as "experts" and passing this off as something between news, editorial and a three martini lunch bullshit session.
Weird. I can hardly wait for the next time this journalistic strategy is employed: "...and another thing, this Goddamn Obama and that son-of-a-bitch Education Secretary what's his name. You know, that guy...anyway, let me tell you what those sons-of-bitches are trying to pull with this so-called "education reform"! But before I tell ya, buy me another martini will ya? Just one, just one more. You can write that story after just one more stinking martini, can't ya?"