Reason I Will Never Get Elected To Anything: #47,145

photo courtesy Albuquerque Journal

Now from time to time people accuse me of being negative, cynical, sarcastic and an overall total downer. I know...hard to believe. These accusations become more acute during "events" like "Balloon Fiesta", where the dominant paradigm is that the "event" is great and anybody who would put it down must be hunted down and killed (or at least ostracized and given that eye-rolling "just shut up" look).

So, believe it or not, I often keep my mouth shut. Well, I try. Really I do.

Take this last weekend for instance. I'm been a very nice boy, just nodding my head when someone talks about the plethora of events going on around town pertaining to 'Burque's 300th Anniversary. I distinctly remember telling someone at school just today something to the effect of "that's nice" when a celebratory event was described to me. In fact, I think that's exactly what I said..."that's nice".

I've kept my mouth shut, and when I didn't I replied considerately and with an earnestness of head nodding agreement that would make me an excellent halfway-house counselor.

But I can't keep it in, any longer, and that is reason #47,145 that I will never be elected to public office.

I can't stand the 300th "Anniversary" celebration. No that's not it. I absolutely do not care about the 300th "Anniversary", but when I do think about it I can't stand it. I can't stand it for so many reasons that listing them would only indicate my total obsession with how evil the whole thing is, when, in fact, I don't care about it. Really, I just don't care.

Is it over yet? Can I come out of the bunker, yet? Is Marty still handing that piece of paper over to that 117th generation removed person in funny clothes from the original Spanish guy who did gruesome, but evidently celebration-worthy, things way back when to the Natives.? Is Marty still dressed up in a funny hat handing over that piece of paper to the 117th generation removed person, a piece of paper that must be damn hard to read from all the Native blood staining it? Is that over yet?

'Cause whether it is or isn't over, I just don't care. I really just don't care.