Stuck In Tech Amber And Loving It: One Guy's Response to IPhone

Last night, a friend of mine and I discussed going to Monday's Red Elvises show at the Launchpad. One of us told the other they would call to confirm whether they could go or not. The other, me, said that was fine but, just to let him know, I often don't answer the phone (that's my wife's job, or we just sit there and wait for it to stop ringing) and that email works better. That's okay, my friend said, I don't actually call when I say I am, either.

We then shook hands in anti-phone bonding.

Perhaps this little anecdote helps explain my total lack of fascination with the IPhone. Why would anyone want a phone that costs $600, even if it has internet capability (with a teensy-weensy screen that required 20/15 vision and a finger dexterity on the order of a world-class microsurgeon)?

I don't have a cellphone, and I realize I'm in the minority in that regard. Having just come from a supposedly "3rd World" country, I can report I'm in the minority not only in the U.S., but most likely world-wide.

I am unfazed. I've never understood why I would want a form of technology that allows others to contact me at any time, thus obligating me to somehow respond whenever this other person wants me. And now I'm supposed to be excited about a $600 alternative to this original idea, one that allows me to vainly squint in public at micro-sized webpages?

And don't even get me started on "text messaging".

I'm no Luddite, or maybe I am. I check my email every two minutes or so, and spend far too much time in internet cafes in "3rd World" countries, but maybe I belong to a Luddite sub-group that feels the technologies of circa 1999 were good enough. For instance, I don't really find a need for YouTube. I invariably avoid clicking on video links when sent by emailing friends. Internet video bad, internet audio awesome. Email essential, IPhone worthless piece of junk.

In searching my techno-soul, I guess I do have a philosophical underpinning to my increasingly anachronistic view. I like control. I prefer email because I choose when to read and respond to others. I prefer older, less bandwidth intensive 'net services because I don't like to wait around.

So screw the IPhone. And whatever comes after that, most likely, as I inexorably slide into a museum-like niche of outdated tech preferences. Let's face it..I'm not tech cool anymore. Can I find anyone out there to shake hands in tech-bonding agreement on this point? I promise I won't call you...I'll just wait for you to email me back.

Meanwhile, I'm spending the entire day listening to Elliott Smith records via Rhapsody. The whole day. Life in Net Tech circa 1999 been berry, berry good to me.