Monday Morning Scatter Ranting

"I just don't know if brats are best suited to Joey Chesnutt's skill set."
--Color commentator, ESPN, announcing from the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) sanctioned "Brat Days" contest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin, airdate 2/4/07


I always love to sports channel surf a bit on "Super Sunday". Eating contests, "World's Strongest Man" and tons of ice skating. Not to mention the cheerleading competitions. So unwatchable that it becomes hard not to watch. So ESPN "the Ocho".

Somehow, I think the sports programming run counter to Super Bowl stuff says more about America than the Super Bowl itself. I don't know what it says, but spending a few minutes watching the "player" introductions at a competitive eating event followed by highly orchestrated overindulgence on an intergalactic scale is something that should be put on the next DVD/Blue Ray we send on our next deep space probe. Intelligent life on distant planets will have just about all the info about us they need with a single viewing.

Three other things to rant about this early morning:

1. Just received my water/sewer bill from city o' ABQ the other day, and noticed again that the "Graph and usage history table is under construction. Watch for improvements!" We've been waiting for improvements for about nine months now. What kind of state-of-the-art holography are we talking about that requires so many months before it's rolled out? What level of complexity beyond a simple bar graph do we need for a water usage table? Maybe the new information will include a talking Leonard Nimoy as Spock telling us how many gallons of water we used the past month as we open the bill. Perhaps the new graph will have a "scratch and sniff" feature for the sewer data.
   
2. I'm wondering why the ABQ Journal didn't just combine the Bill Richardson and Brian Urlacher kiss-ass pieces yesterday into one profile with Richardson's head on Urlacher's football uniformed body and the title: "Gods Among Mere Mortals". What the Hell was that all about? That the Journal has decided to treat both of these guys like the Balloon Fiesta says something about Albuquerque. I don't know what it is, but it certainly says something. Meanwhile, I'm with Duke City Fix regarding the Journal.com's new look. Ugly meets unwieldy.
   
3. I have to grade papers now, but ask me to tell you about American Airlines sometime soon, and my nascent plan for a massive protest of the entire airline industry. A massive protest, like that Orange Revolution in Kiev kinda-big. Gigantically large.