Tuesday, August 28, 2007

All The News That's Fit To Inadequately Recap

I know this is going to change the daily time-wasting blogreading plans for millions around the globe, but Burque Babble is switching to evening posting from the ridiculously early morning half-dead sleep-posting of recent days. Posting before dawn should be on the "Don't Bee Blogger" list of mistakes right beneath "drunk posting" and "so pissed off you can't use punctuation posting".

So I happen to decide this on a day when:
  • Alberto Gonzalez is still resigning and it's so old now that it's not worth bringing up anymore.
  • Idaho Senator Larry Craig is so rabidly not gay that he "allegedly" has to succumb to some perverse alter-ego who seeks out sex in public restrooms to have rabidly not gay sex.
  • The Albuquerque Tribune announces it is for sale, which is exactly the same thing as saying it is ceasing publication because the chance of it being sold is about the same as the chance I have of winning this year's NL Cy Young Award.
  • Johnny Mango publishes a piece on Duke City Fix that seeks correlation between Feudal Prince Marty and his difficulties in dealing with women, particularly politically powerful women.
Jiminy, as Idaho Senator Larry Craig would say, where to start? Uh, let's just go down the list making brief, yet still inane, comments about each of these items.

Alberto Gonzalez: Just like with Karl Rove, the long-awaited euphoria of the U.S. Attorney General's resignation ended up very anti-climatic. I can't remember a real G.W. Bush Administration resignation that really reached euphoria levels since Donald Rumsfeld, and I think this Administration owes us something and it might as well be euphoria. So I'm holding out for VP Cheney to quit before Friday at 5:00 P.M. Let's go into a three-day weekend with some big-time euphoria to experience. I promise I'll host a party if Cheney quits, and I loathe hosting parties.

Larry Craig: I'm certain some bloggers and "analysts" out there are probably making the case that sexual repression is so central to Republicanism circa-2007 that it might as well be a plank in the GOP platform in '08. Far be it for Burque Babble to assert something like that. That would be a level of psychological analysis far beyond the scope of your humble blogger, and a cheap shot. But Jiminy Jesus H. Not Gay Christ! How much self-loathing can one political party have? Yes, Democrats have a wide array of losers, miscreants and ne'er-do-wells, but the GOP has just about cornered the market these days on Kevlar-closeted gay guys who take the perfectly okay act of gay sex and twist it and themselves into seedy bathroom stalls hookups. And no, I wouldn't care about this nearly as much if these Kevlar-closet guys weren't the same exact politicians calling for things like a "Sanctity of Marriage Amendment" and banning gay marriage. Get some therapy guys, and stop telling everybody else what to do.

Albuquerque Tribune: One nice thing about writing about stuff everybody else knows is that I don't need to link to anything. Which is kinda the whole problem with the Tribune and newspapers in general. Links. Video killed the radio star and the combination of large-scale functional illiteracy in the U.S. and the Internet are going to kill off X number of print newspapers (where X = a really big number). I almost ashamed to admit it, but I only read the Trib online, haven't had a hard-copy newspaper in the house for years (even since the quickly piling bulk of Sunday NY Times became too high and unsteady). I feel a bit more ashamed because: 1. the Tribune has been publishing the occasional rant from your humble blogster; 2. I don't know if I would pay for the online version of the Tribune. I think it's pretty much universally agreed that two newspapers are better than one, but the truth is our "universe" is small, and the number of people who really don't give a rat's ass about the world is big. Okay, I'm depressed now...I think I'll go read theonion.com. Or go see some fake news on "The Daily Show". Oh, you're saying there might be a correlation between the rise of fake news and the death of real news coverage? Getouttahere.

Mango and Marty: Johnny Mango over at DCF put out a post this morning about Mayor Marty Chavez. I'm guessing about 95% of Babble readers check out DCF (oh, if only the reverse was true...damn you popular Fix!) and have seen the article, so I won't go over details. Speaking of correlations above, what Mango seeks to do is find a correlation between Marty and his treatment/interactions with women. I've been on the fence about posting a comment to his story in large part because of the Hyper-BlogCommentHell (HBCH) generally experienced at DCF and the 9th level of HBCH going on in response to Mango's story.

If I were to comment (and I might just copy/paste this over there, or not) I would say Mango is making a type of statistical "false positive", i.e. finding someone guilty of a crime they didn't commit. The assertion that FP Marty might have a problem with women is a false positive because Marty has a problem with EVERYBODY HE CANNOT CONTROL, REGARDLESS OF GENDER. The "problem with women" is a red herring, and condemning him for the crime of having trouble working with women a strange false positive. This does not mean he is a nicer person. It really only means that he is an equal opportunity jerk, who treats 100% of the non-compliant population poorly.

Man, alot going on and I haven't even mentioned the fact the Yankees are playing the Red Sox and Angels are going against the Mariners as we get ready for September pennant-race baseball. Sometimes the news just trumps entertainment for its ability to entertain. And that reminds me again about the Tribune. I'm getting depressed again.

1 comment:

History said...

Your Larry Craig/GOP comments are pricelessly hilarious. The only place senators seem to get anything done IS in the restroom. BTW: That flushing sound is the future of print media because you can't get what you wrote anywhere in the newspaper. Evening posting seems to have inspired you.