Tuesday, October 09, 2007

What I Want For Election '08

Epilogue as Prologue: Obviously Bernco Sheriff Darren White read today's Burque Babble post and decided to fill the giant sucking vacuum of NM-1 candidates by announcing he would run for that office as a Republican. Evidently he thought the Libertarian Party nomination was either too easy to get or unlikely to result in a win. As someone who has personally toyed at times with thoughts of Libertarianism, I kinda wish Sheriff White would just let his "Don't Tread On Me" freak flag fly, advocate abolition of the legislative and judicial branches of government and buy AK-47s and land mines for every land-owning NM-1 voter. Truth in advertising, I say.

Epilogue II: Somebody pointed out in the comments that Gubernatorial succession goes Gov., Lt. Gov., Secretary of State, and that such a succession pattern could lead to "Governor Mary Herrera". Thanks reader, that is both the funniest and scariest thing I've read all year. And no, I'm not joking. Okay, on with the post already....

Giddy with the ephemeral power of having all four Major League Baseball Divisional Series finish to my liking (a first in my memory), I feel like a Las Vegas gambler in the middle of an incredible run of good cards. Of course that means I'm headed for the inevitable crash and a sullen trip to the buffet, but before that happens I want to flex my ersatz command over future events and outline exactly, what I, Master of Destiny, want to happen regarding the slew of New Mexico politicians untethered from existing office-seeking moorings in the wake of the Domenici retirement.

Bill Richardson: Unlike others who want Richardson to give up his Quixotic run at the Presidential windmill and run instead for U.S. Senate, I have tired a bit too much of "Big Bill" to want that. In fact, seeing him on C-SPAN yesterday reminded me of exactly how tired I am of "Big Bill" (man can that guy yell in a most unpleasing manner). Hence, I want Bill to stay as far away from New Mexico as possible as he stabs at that windmill all the way to the Democratic Convention, receives 10-15 delegates out of a total of 45,000, and eventually serves as Secretary of Something in the upcoming Hilbamawards Administration. As for the actual Democratic nominee, I don't want to think about that until at least March.

Diane Denish: I want our current Lt. Governor to see the hideous Marty Chavez blood scrawl writing on the Senatorial wall, give up the Governor '10 idea and run against Chavez for Senate. Last night I was thinking I wanted Tom Udall to change his mind, but awoke feeling Denish is the best chance to embarrass Chavez in the primary, and be the absolute anti-Patsy Madrid in the general v. Heather Wilson. This brings up three other names: Madrid, Wilson, Chavez.

Patsy Madrid: You've got to be kidding. I want her as far away from a ballot in '08 as humanly possible. I don't want her to even be a polling official. I want a rule that anyone uttering her name has their right to vote taken away.

Heather Wilson: I want Wilson to beat out Steve Pearce in the Republican Primary for Senate because Texas already has two senators, and doesn't need a third. Plus, unlike Madrid, I want Heather on the ballot in November. It just wouldn't seem like November without seeing that name and voting in knee-jerk reaction for her opponent.

Marty Chavez: Because of the knee-jerk reaction noted above. Having a choice between Chavez and Wilson isn't a knee-jerk, it's a stomach churn. It's a painful conundrum. It's probably a vote for Wilson. Really. There, I said it. I'd vote for Heather Wilson over Marty Chavez. I'm not kidding. Hey Diane Denish! Did you see that? Some bozo, pipsqueak blogger said he'd take Wilson over Chavez for Senate! You just gotta change your mind, now! Besides, the pipsqueak just picked all four winners in the baseball playoffs!

Martin Heinrich: I want Heinrich to realize he has ABSOLUTELY NO ONE TO RUN AGAINST HIM for U.S. NM-1 and be a good sport. He should call up Patsy Madrid, Richard Romero, John Kelly and Phil Maloof and host a "Heather Wilson Graveyard Reunion Tour" primary and television special, with Maloof featured in a "Behind the Music" update talking about Las Vegas showgirls and mountains of illicit substances. Patsy Madrid should drop off the show because of the recently imposed rule that saying her name is cause to have one's voting rights taken away. Then, after winning the "Reunion Tour" primary, Heinrich can take on NM Sen. Joe Carraro, who the Republicans pick after John Dendahl reminds them he is still living in Colorado. I'm not sure Carraro lives in NM-1, but Rio Rancho is close enough and besides, Carraro would be a gold mine of ridiculous statements. He might even make people forget all about Patsy Madrid's performance in a televised debate...nah, that's asking too much.

So, to sum up, your humble, yet all-powerful blogging Master of Destiny, wants the following for '08:

President: Hilbamawards
Secretary of Something: Bill Richardson
U.S. Senate: Diane Denish v. Heather Wilson (Denish wins)
NM-1: Heinrich v. Carraro (Heinrich wins)

Quick notes on the farther future: Marty Chavez, loser in the Senatorial primary, becomes increasingly unstable as his City Council effectively blocks any of his proposals. He runs for Governor in '10 and loses out to Don Wiviott, who we forgot to mention earlier but drops out of the '08 Senate race when Denish changes her mind. Wiviott beats Gary Johnson in the Governor's race, after Johnson is found to still be the only statewide Republican any New Mexican can remember the name of.

Oh, and just to connect some more dots, Gary King is appointed to fill out Secretary of Something Bill Richardson's term as Governor, but leaves in late '09 to serve as U.S. Attorney after Hilbamawards fires all the U.S. Attorneys hired by Alberto Gonzalez. For a short time, given that every single politician in the state is off doing something else, your humble blogging Master of Destiny serves as Governor. My only action while in office will be to make driving while on a cell phone a capital offense.

Man, predicting the future in a post-Domenici political environment is tougher than picking baseball playoff winners. Far tougher. Meanwhile, let's all wave and get Diane Denish's attention. Hey Diane, over here! Marty Chavez said you had an "easy job" or something, and now he's running for Senate! Get him, Diane, get him!


M. Moore said...

Brilliant analysis, Burque.

Sadly, your giddy future scenario contains just one little bitty flaw. How do we get Gary King appointed Gov? The order of gubernatorial succession in the state constitution starts with the Lt Gov and then moves to the Secretary of State. Yes, we're talking Governor Mary Herrera.

Kelsey Atherton said...

Can I call Dibs on District 6 city councilor, or should I graduate from college first? (graduate without credit for "life experience")

As for you picks, excellent

Maggie said...

As always, nicely done. I love it.

Anonymous said...

So let's review:

You want what you can't have and when it comes to a general election between a Democrat who would vote with the rest of the Democrats and get us of Iraq, you would rather vote for Heather Wilson, the rubber stamp for Bush and this war?

You are a disgrace to the Democratic Party, if you are one in the first place, and a disgrace to the anti-war, anti-Bush groups. You are why people like Heather Wilson are in office.

frannyzoo said...

Anon: Thanks for dropping by. Just to be clear, I've yet to have voted for Heather Wilson, ever.

As for being "a disgrace to the Democratic Party", I'm sorta liking the ring of that expression. I am not being sarcastic when I say I'm even considering having a button made up saying "A Disgrace to the Democratic Party".

I understand and appreciate the passion of your views, but feel maybe there is a middle ground somewhere between BushCo and all Rethugs are Evil that could be productive.

Meanwhile, are you really sure ALL of the Democrats would get us out of Iraq anytime soon? And what have they done as a Party to give us the indication of such uniformity up to now?

Kelsey Atherton said...

well, anon came out of nowhere.

And not that you need to hear it, but thanks for being a person who thinks beyond party affiliation (I'm not sure if ignores is right, or if 'as opposed to the persons record and actual policies' is better). It was the saddest day in college to find out that those people have made it this far.

Time to register as Free-Soil and leave this whole mess behind...

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Anonymous said...

The big three candidates Richardson,Udall,and Denish have reasons for not wanting to run for the US Senate.
Richardson is eyeing for the VP or Secretary of State position. Their is no rationale for Richardson running for the Senate other than he is a shoe in for the position. Richardson would go from becoming a respected international statesman to a backbench junior Senator. Richardson is considered a dealmaker- HE is better served as Secretary of State- Advises Hillary Clinton on Foriegn Affairs and Negotiating with Foriegn Leaders- We need a Richardson to repair the damages US cause around the world - Bush-Cheney. than being a US Senator- rubber stamping Hillary Clinton's policies. Tom Udall is a member of the powerful Appropriations Committee. if he runs for the Senate-He does not get a powerul committee assignment such as the Appropriations commitee as a Freshman US Senator- Being a member of the House Appropriations Committee is more powerful than freshman US Senator. That leaves us Diane Denish- Denish is going to be Governor once Richardson moves to Washington.

we should look at other rising stars such as Geno Zamaro- Democratic Candidate for NM AG and Richardson former legal counsel. He is progressive and Hispanic.