Tuesday, February 07, 2006

In Which Heather Is Compared With Certain Hollywood Stars of the Past

So I doing the daily blog digestion cycle when I run across the strange graphic above (authentically reproduced from this site...scroll down to see the "original"). I wouldn't recommend staring at it too long, but two things become instantly noticeable:

  1. Heather's neck has gone beyond mere Audrey Hepburn length to become some sort of "Aliens"-type connection between body and head. Looking as closely as possible at the horrifying sight, it appears as if she is gazing at the embattled Sigourney Weaver while grinding two godforsakenly inept anti-Aliens soldiers into dust with her pincer claws.

To refresh the memory of those who don't remember the original creature:

Yeah, I know, I know, it is far easier to stomach the picture of the actual "Alien" creature, even with the sharp, pointed nasty teeth and remembrance about the whole coming out of John Hurt's stomach thing. That just goes to show that Hollywood may have big budgets and creative special effects people, but you just can't beat the world of Politics for ghoulish horror.

2. The slogan for "Blogs for Heather" is "Together we can stop Nancy Pelosi's takeover of Congress!". Now this is where we on the Left and Far Left need to quietly tip-toe down the hall and avoid commenting on what must surely be the LOUSIEST CAMPAIGN SLOGAN SINCE GERALD FORD'S "WHIP INFLATION NOW"! Shh....don't say anything and maybe they won't notice that:

  • if surveyed, most Americans would state their belief that Nancy Pelosi is host of a Food Network Show.
  • if they simply replaced "Nancy Pelosi" with "Hillary Clinton", Bubba NASCAR would go from "who's that?" to "that bitch!" faster than a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. pit stop.
  • if they stick with Nancy Pelosi those at "blogs for Heather" and other Right Republican sites might actually have to deal with Pelosi after the 2006 elections instead of just laughing their collective asses off while she uselessly screams about "corruption", "lies" and other associated nonsense.

In sum, I urge all those who wish for the overthrow of Heather Longneck to copy/paste the current "Blogs for Heather" ad prominently in all blogs, email correspondence, refrigerator doors (where it may well serve as an additional dieting aid), worker break rooms, bowling alleys, post offices and as replacement for Ron Bell billboards. Let's see this baby EVERYWHERE, at least until those Republicans decide that "Whip Pelosi Now" is working only to raise Food Network ratings as people search for her show on Italian cooking.

By the way, regardless of one's political views, one really should click through to the site "Blogs for Heather" goes to. I don't want to ruin it for ya, but in just a few graphics and buzzwords it quickly captures the essential Pol Pot-level anti-intellectualism of today's hard-core Republicans. You really can see the next stage in the current administration as they line up those wearing glasses (sunglasses excepted) and lead them off to the re-education farms. Glasses do make you look smart, after all.


Maggie said...

Funny, we're on the same wavelength about her. (It's just too easy, isn't it?) Check out this post for my version.

ps: Should've introduced myself. I briefly met you and your wife at Chama a couple of weeks ago - I was there with Gene.

phat-chance said...

I was wondering about this recently myself - whether Heather would start her own little slogan ridden,'echo chamber' of mind numbing ignorance.

Thanks for the links.