Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Dr. Science, Paulette de'Pascal, Declaims "I Have A Master's Degree!"

I admit it's been a tough week, what with the preoccupation with pedophile substitute teachers and cyclist-killer automobiles. But nothing lifts the veil of psycho darkness like stories about Albuquerque City Council candidates.

In particular, thanks Paulette de'Pascal!

Your claim of having obtained a "Master's Degree" from Almeda University, "an online university that gives clients credit for 'life experience'" not only warms the cockles of my cynical heart, it gives me red-hot cockles of full-on, gut-busting laughter. Reporter Sean Olson at the Journal must have thought he'd died and gone to Onion heaven as he wrote 'graphs like:

It costs about $500 for a "prior learning" assessment based on "life experience" toward a bachelor's or master's degree, according to the school's Web site.
Tuition fluctuates, depending on the degree sought, the school's Web site says. The cost listed for a doctorate of theology is $1,500.


Not City Council candidate Paulette de'Pascal, but another
hard-studying Almeda University "student" from the "school's" website


Not to mention....
"All degrees come on low-acidic paper suitable for framing with no transcript mention of online or distance learning, the Web site says." No high-acidic paper for them, no way. "Graduates" have a fake diploma they can use for years and years, campaign after campaign.

Spectacular stuff, and I immediately went to the Almeda University website myself. I particular admire that their "Life Experience Degree Qualification Form" is "Hacker Safe" and "Confidential and Discreet". Perhaps even more impressive, however, is their long list of possible Theology Ph.D.s, including "Doctor of Philosophy in Restorative Justice". I'm considering such a degree for myself and hope to be working in the explosive field of "Restorative Justice" by this afternoon.

Again, thanks Ms., uh "Doctor?" de'Pascal (by the way, did you buy the name Pascal in order to look more mathematically smart?). You've not only made Brad Winter's job of running against you much, much easier, you've brightened my day, my week and quite possibly every day right up to the October 2nd election.


8 comments:

Natalie said...

You know, Scot, between Scooby Snacks, No Doze, and high-acidic-restorative-justice-degrees-that-are-the-gifts-that-just-keep-giving, you are totally on a roll lately!
Glad to hear you weren't actually rolling in the street. Man, I thought it was bad enough to have to drive in this town... I can't imagine (and don't wanna) what it's like to bicycle!
You take care out there and... thanks for the chuckle this morning. This post was way more amusing that Mario Burgos' and so much more, I don't, informative in a *oh-if-I-get-one-of-those-degrees-maybe-I-can-go-work-for-(insert any policital institution, including APS)
But then... I'd have to actually work and prove that I have "life skills" worthy of my "degree."
That is gut-bustin', to be sure!
;)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious post.

I checked out the AU web site. I love that I can purchase a class ring or a brief case with the school logo on it from the University Store! I skipped those fripperies when I was in Real School. Perhaps I can now satisfy my yearnings by purchasing them on line from such a highly respected institution. That is, of course, if I pass muster.

Kelsey Atherton said...

maybe she's ordained by the Universal Life Church as well? (http://www.ulc.net/)

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Anonymous said...

We are so glad you exposed the phycopath pasqual really is!!