Thursday, February 12, 2009

Burque Babble Formally Announces It Has Been Nominated to Become Commerce Secretary

Apologies for the slow down in the number of posts recently, but I've been busy with some hush-hush negotiations that I can only now make public:

Burque Babble has been named the Obama Administration's nominee for U.S. Secretary of Commerce

Evidently the Administration got wind a day or so ago that Senator Judd Gregg (or Gregg Judd, I always get the name confused) was going to bow out, becoming the 47,318th person to be unsuccessfully nominated for the post of Commerce Secretary.

From what I hear at Obama Human Resources, calls then went out to an even wider net of people including Albuquerque Mayor Martin Chavez, former musician and current reality show prostitute Flavor Flav, and the guy in those Verizon commercials with the black rim glasses. After getting busy signals or being rejected by each of those people, the HR team went to Google and, using search terms like "sentient being" and "anyone with a pulse", ended up coming across a post I wrote months ago about zombie movies.

The rest is history, as they say, as this blog is scheduled to become the first holder of a major Cabinet position in the history of the Republic. Burque Babble is proud to be a trailblazer in this regard, and only hopes that the upcoming Senate confirmation process will focus on questions about living in Albuquerque, public school teaching and writing poorly constructed 500 word blogposts, instead of centering questions on whether I know anything about "commerce", tariffs or countries buying things and crap like that.

Burque Babble welcomes your support and congratulations in achieving this milestone, and promises to work really, really hard in performing the duties of Commerce Secretary, whatever the Hell they might be.


steve said...

The vetters called to ask me about your bathroom stall foot-tapping, recent trips to communist nations, your failure to pay income tax on your appearances on IN FOCUS, associations with bailed out banks, criticism of the pledge of allegience, NCLB and the Balloon Fiesta, and I'm sorry to say it's not looking good for confirmation. You may want to withdraw your nomination before it reflects poorly on Mister Obama.

jscotkey said...

Steve: Well played, sir. Very well played. And I forgot about the In-Focus "honorariums". That's hundreds of thousands of dollars in unclaimed income right there.

Guess I better run against Linda Lopez for State Senator instead. Big Bill Richardson proves that a little taint has no impact on holding a government position in New Mexico. None at all.

barbwire said...

Well, I'm on your side on this one!