The 25 year-old who made the quote headlined above is also heard to have made the following statements:
- "I try to be smart when I'm cleaning my loaded gun with the barrel pointed at my chest."
- "I try to be smart when I'm cooking up and shooting heroin while flying an single-engine airplane in a snowstorm."
- "I try to be smart when I'm holding a lightning rod during a thunderstorm while climbing a 14er in Colorado."
- "I try to be smart when I'm at the zoo streaking through the lion and grizzly bear enclosures with slabs of bloody raw meat attached to my naked body."
- "I try to be smart when I smother my sleeping bag with fish guts before going to sleep in my tent at Denali National Park."
- "I try to be smart while taking a United States Citizenship Test while going to high school in Oklahoma."*
Okay I'll stop now. Continue having a fine weekend, everybody and remember...the ocean just off the U.S. East Coast is NOT the Indian Ocean. Although it would be very, very cool if that were the case (except for the tsunamis).
*Acknowledgments to Wonkette for the "borrowed" graphic above, but they actually "borrowed" it from some outfit called the "Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs", which was pretty cool in pointing out how d-u-m-b your average Oklahoman