Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Reviewing APS Middle School Websites: Volume V, The Politburo's Fifth Five-Year Plan

Hail comrades!

You might not know this, but the Obama Socialist Indoctrination for Innocent Schoolchildren Speech (OBSIISS) today has a mention of school websites. In between all the talk about the next "five year plan", demands for greater millet production and denouncement of anti-socialist forces bent on enslaving the world's workers, the speech has this short passage:
"And a word to your teachers and school administrators watching this alongside you this morning. What's up with the lousy school websites?"
Listen carefully or you might miss this important inquiry. What is up with "lousy school websites"? And are all the APS middle school websites really "lousy"? And is your humble blogger really putting quotation marks around words/phrases that he, himself, wrote only pretending they came from the President of the United States?

School 19. Polk Middle School: Rating "The Day The Earth Stood Still" (i.e., 1)

The date is August 17, 2007. Unbeknownst to many of us, the world as we know it actually ended on August 17, 2007. Truth be told, we as a species do have some small memory of the horrible events of 8/17/2007, but part of our transformation into our current state, that of radioactive zombies incapable of anything other than eating the brains of the living and screaming at health care town hall meetings, has been the near elimination of any memories of that day.

August 17, 2007. Do you remember? Do you remember the space ship? What about the aliens who looked so much like former "Tonight Show" sidekick Ed McMahon? C'mon think...think hard! We do remember.

Polk Middle School remembers. It remembers that final day before alien-enforced zombiehood by refusing to update its school webpage since that horrible, nearly forgotten, day.

Nothing new exist except for a few messages in code frantically typed while the alien zombie overlords weren't watching. One says:
"Polk MS has a new principal, Ms. Eva Vigil. Please welcome her."
Perhaps this coded message, which properly translated of course means "Prepare the lasers for final attack against the alien spaceship!" will successfully alert the remaining "humans" to do what is necessary to overthrow their extraterrestrial slave masters.

We can only hope.

20. Roosevelt Middle School: Rating 3

Holy Twittering Gadzooks, Batman! Roosevelt MS has blogs! Really! Blogs! There's a Technology blog and a Library one. I'll take off the "alien zombiehood" hat now and somberly report that RMS having these blogs is probably a good sign the page will be updated more frequently than the APS average.

The RMS site also has a fairly updated homepage, and an easy to navigate through design. On the not-so-great side it evidently does not include any teacher web pages, and only about a third of the teachers even have email contact links.

Why do these places even have websites if it's going to be basically impossible for users to know what's going on in the classrooms from looking at them? Oh, you mean there's a reason why they don't have teacher pages, and it has nothing to do with webmastering laziness? You mean these pages deliberately don't exist so there is no easy-to-access accountability for what the Hell goes on in these classrooms?

Is that what you mean imaginary person imaginarily talking to your humble blogger as he pretends to type down what you say?

Oh. Never mind. The RMS website, as do almost all APS school websites, does a great job of doing its intended job. Speaking of Socialism, five year plans for millet and such, the editors of the Soviet-era Pravda would be mighty proud to see the RMS website.

Heck, it even has a a nice deep red as its primary color. Hail comrades! Here is all the news fit for you to be permitted to read!

Meanwhile, До свидания!. It is now time for me to go to school and further promulgate the socialist indoctrination of our young people! Sorry I only got to two website reviews today, but the millet production and agit-prop destruction and reeducation of young minds cannot wait!

Seriously, more reviews to come as the week unfolds. I promise to finish this damn thing before the next Five-Year Plan, or at the very least the one after that.


SydTheSkeptic said...

Have a great day, comrade.

Robin said...

Scot does Mr. Brooks know anything about this?

Anonymous said...

I heard Brooks is reaaaaalllly busy planning "free popcorn fridays in the penthouse (aka city center 6th floor east) with the sup"

Lucky said...

A one! Gosh, I thought you'd give Polk a two at least. I mean, it's a nice site, even if a bit behind the times. . .