Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Terri Cole Over-appearance

Just recovering from a Terri Cole upper-thigh sighting on a KRQE "interview" with Dick Knipfing. As Dick lobbed soft balls into Terri about the minimum-wage ordinance, two things were clear: 1., having Dick and Terri simultaneously on a television screen at any time forces us to redefine media terms such as decency and obscenity; 2., a shot of way more Terri Cole upper-leg than anyone should ever be forced upon Mr. Cole, much less the unsuspecting KRQE viewer.

Ms. Cole, of course, is slightly notable as Commissar of the Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce, but is far more well-known as an evil boss on a level somewhere between the twisted mind-screwing of suspender-wearing Bill Lumbergh in "Office Space" and the slutty megalomania of Sigourney Weaver's character in "Working Girl". That Ms. Cole is still in her position says more about the survival powers of Central American dictators and cockroaches than her actual ability to do anything for Albuquerque businesses.

So, here she is being asked questions by the transparently-obvious conservative Dick Knipfing about the deleterious effects of forcing ABQ employers to pay a living wage, when the eye is drawn below the interviewing table to Terri's slit skirt, exposing a slab of thigh meat big enough for the most antibiotically-bloated Tyson Ostrich or Emu. We're talking major exposure here, revealing an almost R-rated level of blanched white thigh..uh...material. Combined with her just-back- from-Madri Gras long bead look and ridiculous thatch of artificially blond hair trying to insert itself into her ceaselessly open mouth, Ms. Cole most closely resembled an old woman, three daiquiries to the French Quarter wind, just about to flash Dick Knipfing and anyone else too sick to turn away.

It was the type of upsetting, inappropriate image I thought U.S. news organizations had sworn to avoid, like showing dead bodies in New Orleans, but KRQE seemed to take wicked glee in its low-angle shot running up the lengthily exposed leg. Somebody in charge of the KRQE control room had to be falling over themselves laughing maniacally, perhaps a close relative of someone Ms. Cole has screwed over during her long, Kim Jong-il-esque reign at the Chamber.

As a survivor of the hideous sight, I can only guess that the freakshow folks at the State Fair are desparately trying to get their hands on a videotape of the event...it will go well alongside the exhibit of the two-headed snake eating itself and the man with the hugely weighted piercing of his testicles.

Sorry, I don't have TiVo...no copies available here guys.

P.S.: I noticed that KRQE's slogan on their website is "balanced news". This adds to the Orwellian redefinition of "balance" started by Fox News. Next up: CNN, The War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength Network!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think what you write. Funny. Very. Good! Coco la boca de cocoposts

Anonymous said...

Spoken like someone with 'inside information'....

Elias Steinhardt said...

Not assured.