Monday, July 14, 2008

New Yorker Cover Proves Lazy Extraterrestrials Live Amongst Us

This just in: I'm a lazy bastard.

After a week's vacation up Northwest, I have returned to some thigh-high weeds (pictured above), a novel thigh-high in its own weed-like thorniness, and about ninety-eleven chores that need to be done before I head out of town again to the long-avoided South (it's a Summer of revisiting past lives, perhaps more about that later).

Yet, despite all this that needs to be done, especially those weeds, all I can do is fixate on the response to this New Yorker cover:

By this time, having, in my extreme laziness, slept in well past 8:00, we're probably up to at least one million blogposts and 73 million comments about the above cover. Yet, I can't help wasting my lazy bastard time perusing the never-ending "Outrage!" from Daily Kos folks about this thing. And, worse yet, insipidly adding to those 1 million plus blogposts myself.

I can't tell what's funnier, the cover or the "Outrage!".

I tend to spend far too many important lazy bastard hours reading Daily Kos, often in the same way irritating drivers slow down to see if there are any bloody bodies thrown from vehicles crashed along the Interstate. I can't remember a thread getting 2400 comments in quite some time, "Breaking: Impeachment!" and "Developing: Bush/Cheney Sucks!" included.

I find some threads on Daily Kos informative, others comforting in that "oh, these strange people actually agree with my me on something" sort of way. Then there are threads such as "Outrage!" that reaffirm the fact that I am an alien from another planet who cannot really join the human race because, after all, I'm an alien (but not in that Scientology crazy Thetan level digested alien sort of way) and am missing important chromosomes or a certain arrangement of genes necessary to be classified as homo sapiens.

And that just makes the "Outrage!" even funnier.

Here's that cover again:

Don't worry, I won't ruin it through dissection. It's just damn funny. Life-affirming (for an alien) funny. Perhaps there are other (non-Scientology) aliens among us who, like me, love the Hell out of Barack Obama (FISA vote notwithstanding) and cannot look at this cover without getting a big-ass smile on their pointy, triangularly-shaped alien face.

Klattu barata nikto baby!

Now if I just had me some space-age, extraterrestrial weed-killer that wasn't bad for Planet Earth. Must not have packed that when I left my home on Planet Satire. Oh well, maybe I should finish this 15th cup of coffee and look at a few hundred more posts of "Outrage!" instead.

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