Sunday, October 16, 2005

Bloggin' Emotional Weather Report

Okay, I've been semi-seriously "blogging" now for a few weeks and can report the following:

  • I still feel completely embarrassed saying...
    • "Uh...I have a blog"
    • "You should read my blog"
    • "I have to go home and blog something"
    • "Well, I fully explain my position on X on my blog"

  • Typical responses of those told for the first time that I blog are:
    • A slightly distorted, crinkled face, similar to that a listener gets when another person admits they (the admitting person) probably need to get a new therapist, because "this current therapist just doesn't understand how much hate, rage, anger and family dysfunction" they must deal with and maybe it's time to just say "screw therapy" and "really just started dishing out all this pent-up rage, really dish it out, big-time."
    • A half-hearted "oh...what's the address of your blog?" in that voice that really says "Please God don't tell me your blog address, because I will then feel guilty when I go nowhere near it, forever."
    • "Blog? Man, you are such a dork."
    • "A blog? Do you get paid for that?"
  • Based on an incredibly small sample size of about ten entries, people reading blogs want:
    • Local subjects
    • High levels of ranting
    • Me to spell words like curmudgeon right

  • Based on this same small sample, readers avoid posts:
    • On national topics of which they can certainly read funnier, more informative posts elsewhere
    • Where I ask about photos of guys passionately kissing
    • Including the use of the word schadenfreude

  • The funniest things that I have seen in recent weeks that I haven't put into a blog entry are:
    • Those alarmist news stories about Ex? State Treasurer Robert Vigil showing up for work, with the video of him in his beyond thinning hair and expensive-looking suit meekly standing before some dorky whiteboard with a dry erase marker in his hand while obviously bored underlings try to avoid looking at the camera, and Stuart Dyson's voice-over saying something like "Onlookers were shocked at the audacity of Vigil to come back to work when he is such a danger to the State's finances".
    • Now that I think about it...anything about Robert Vigil. The whole scandal is pretty darn funny, especially the part where you realize that everybody in State Government going back to the Bruce King administration has known Vigil and Michael Montoya were crooks and brushed it off as "doing business in New Mexico".
    • The camera work on that new show, The Line, on KNME. The show was fine (although I'd quibble that there are too many panelists and enough laughing to make you think they all had about six hits of nitrous oxide right before the show) , but the camera angles were odd in some sort of deliberate Diane Arbus freak show sort of way. For instance, last Friday night ABQ Trib columnist and man about town Gene Grant would be talking and, suddenly, we'd go to this shot where Gene's face would take up the entire screen General Ripper/Dr. Strangelove style for about five seconds. If Gene had been smoking a cigar, I would have sworn Kubrick was directing, or that Arbus was doing still photos for a collection of "Freaks of the 'Burque Press". I can't remember what the heck they were talking about, but Gene's face and image of the incessantly laughing "host" Steve Lawrence will stay with me for a long time.

  • Yes, the above bullet was a total non sequitur and had nothing to do with the rest of this purported "emotional report" idea.
    • In related news, I really enjoy this bullet/outline format too much
    • My guess from seeing Robert Vigil in front of that whiteboard is that he really likes the bullet/outline format, too.

  • Things to Do Today, Robert Vigil, CPA, January 15, 2005

    • Action: Go to Quarter's Restaurant
      • Order Hot Link sandwich
      • Tell Contractor Bob to put $1,900 in paper sack
      • Be sure to tell Bob to stop getting BBQ sauce on sack
    • Action: Hire Sam Bregman as attorney
      • Might need legal help in future, why not I've needed it about every six months for the last 15 years
      • Bregman is good at shrill defense of clients, even those obviously guilty
      • Bregman not shy about camera..he would like to start a new cable network called Sam Bregman!
    • Action: Hide sports memorabilia and "suspected marijuana" better in house
      • Put in garage or other location
      • Smoke stash down to amount below felony range
        • NM law says more than 8 ounces is a felony
        • Got serious "work" to do...Ha, Ha!
Updated: Just noticed BBQ stain reference in recent Cocopost & response...Do great minds think alike, or what? Well, maybe at least blog minds seem to...no comment on how great blog minds might be, in general.


5 comments:

Big Ben said...

Most people ask me what a blog is?

Those who read it no longer like me as much.

Scribblista said...

Perhaps we need a new word for blogging... I'm thinking maybe Powerball?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, well, at least you touch on serious issues. I just take pictures of things and bitch about stuff like cartoons.

"Blog" is a funny word. You need the shirt (Thinkgeek.com?) "I'm blogging this!" ...Maybe I'll have to get it for you, as it will at least make people that much more worried when you show up.

How's the Jefferson life?

frannyzoo said...

Dear Anonymous: Jefferson life is good, in fact I kinda wonder where else in ABQ I could teach and be as irascible as I am there. Keep in touch, and who the heck might you be?

As for a new word for blogging. Solipsism seems to be taken, narcissism...no, let's see maybe Jenga! I'll keep working on it.

Anonymous said...

Come on, J. Scot! It's Adam.

Keep Jenga-ing, I'll keep reading.