Monday, November 14, 2005

Now Showing

Just like "Seinfeld"'s George Constanza, I'm very, very hesitant to ever have worlds collide, namely my "professional" world of teaching with my "navel gazing solipsistic" world of blogging.

So, you'll understand my reluctance when I tell you that I spent several minutes at work last Thursday morning looking at an erect penis in mid-masturbation on a projection screen in the school Library. In fact, the entire school staff (no pun intended) did.

I also realize that without some context the casual reader might infer some impropriety in having taxpayer money spent on what amounted to a screening of bad porn. Let me assure you that everything was on the up-and-up (and isn't it interesting that pretty much any reference suddenly becomes semi-pornographic in such a discussion?), for the erect penis was indirectly a part of a NM Attorney General's Office presentation alerting teachers of the need to safeguard children from certain aspects of the Internet.

Earnest, quite stern investigators from Patricia Madrid's Office outlined Internet dangers, and then illustrated the proof in the pudding (watch it!, I know what you're thinking) by going to a chat room which (as everyone who has ever gone to a chat room knows) pretty much immediately led to an erect penis in mid-masturbation.

I'll admit I missed the remainder of the AG's Office presentation, feigning offense at the angered member, while I was really just offended that my fellow teachers would now just have one more reason to never use a computer or the Internet again. Then again, no child was ever sexually traumatized by a ditto or mimeograph, I suppose.

I guess I could try to justify explication of this little newsless tidbit by saying something like "Madrid is sure to make Internet threats to children a key part of her upcoming campaign against Heather Wilson", but I'd be lying. It's just that we teachers don't see erect penises masturbating on projection screens every morning. I can't even remember the last time.

Okay, the world's need to be un-collided..no more teacher/job posts for as long as I can make possible.

1 comment:

Scribblista said...

Blogging seems like something of an alternate reality anyway... and when the real world interferes with the blogosphere... look out!!
If you ask me, hose worlds are really better as parallel universes....