Sunday, October 22, 2006

Babble Endorses John Dendahl For Governor

In order to prove our "Independence" (perhaps the single biggest catch-phrase in the election cycle of catch-phrases) we on the Left simply have to vote for at least one Republican candidate. Yes, some of us could vote for Green Party candidate David Bacon in PRC District 4, but most 'Burqueans aren't in District 4. Besides, throwing a vote away on Green Party candidates is SO Nader 2000. By the way, Judges never count as a mark of independence. I'm still trying to figure out how they count for anything in the election sense other than a blatant attempt to make all voters feel stupid.

Some friends and I were at Two Fools Tavern on Central Friday discussing which Republican most deserves our "we are Independent, really we are" vote. Valid points were made for Jim Bibb in the AG race, as Bibb has been pretty impressive in radio debates with Gary King, even if Bibb does sound like he thinks the job of the AG is to personally round up criminals like some Gunsmoke-meets-Dragnet uber-cop.

We batted around one or two others, but decided, for instance, that Allen McCulloch wasn't a good choice because we don't even know what he looks like, much less his position on any of the issues. In the meantime I have gone to his campaign webpage and found out that he seems to like Western horse saddles as means of arm support...

Senate Candidate McCulloch says "who needs a sofa when you got a fence rail?"

Then I guess the conversation turned to megalomania, because before we knew it we were talking about the Governor's race. And that's when the light bulb went off: I'm voting for John Dendahl.

Why Dendahl? Why would a Lefty vote for one of the most non-Lefty candidates out there? Forget the legalizing marijuana thing, Dendahl is wholly, unacceptably, unarguably un-Left. But consider the following:
  • There is absolutely no chance Dendahl will win (which, of course, is the most important factor for ostensibly Independent Lefties in determining which Republican to vote for).
  • If one is to read JoeMonahan correctly, Big Bill Richardson getting less than 60% of the vote this time around will not only damage Richardson's Presidential aspirations, but will lead to utter global economic collapse, legions of locusts denuding every plant on planet Earth, and the return of Chris Kattan to Saturday Night Live. We lefty voters just can't pass up the chance to muck with the political punchbowl on such a grand scale.
  • Between the marijuana legalization stand and the "Teachers only teach Socialism" comment, John Dendahl is New Mexico's answer to Texas Guv candidate Kinky Friedman. Johh says lots of stupid things, just like Kinky, and I personally prefer saying sincere, yet stupid things, over insincere "on message" banality. Now if Dendahl could just lose the Insurance Salesman three-piece suit and go all-black with a bolo tie and a large cigar maybe he'd be going places in this election. Why these candidates don't ever ask me to run their campaigns I'll never figure out.

If I were better at Photoshop I'd try replacing Kinky's head, but you get the idea
  • Bill Richardson not only defines the word "swarmy", the new Oxford English Dictionary uses a picture of Bill (in his "I'm a cowboy" campaign ad getup) as the visual next to the entry "swarmy". In fact, the OED and other dictionaries are thinking of merely replacing the word "swarmy" with "Bill Richardson" in future editions.
  • I have to respect Dendahl for at least two things: 1. He used to appear on that KNME show "The Line" as the token Republican, and regardless of the "you are the stupidest person on the face of planet Earth" looks he gave Liberal panelists he was always courteous in responding. He also never appeared to be bothered that noone else on the panel had any scintilla of respect for his positions. 2. Many New Mexico Republicans seem to hate him, including many State Republican apparatichiks. Anybody that widely disliked within the Republican Party has to have something going for him/her.

So I invite all my Lefty friends to get together and vote John Dendahl for Governor. Some might think, "Hey Scot, if all Lefties vote for Dendahl won't he win and leave us with some wholly unacceptable Governor just like Gary Johnson?" Let's be serious. There ain't that many of us, and how many read Burque Babble for Christ's sake? We'll be lucky to get Big Bill under 60% and kick-up those legions of locusts.


Anonymous said...

Wow, is that lame.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to be accused of taking your contribution too seriously. But it's worth pointing out for those in PRC district 4 (which includes just about everything south of Central and west of Yale) that a vote for David Bacon, the Green candidate, is hardly wasted since there are only two candidates - no Republican. What's more, he's a serious and knowledgable candidate with years of background in utility regulation issues. And he's running against a Democrat who doesn't attend forums, doesn't answer questions, doesn't have literature - in short someone who seems to assume that telling voters her positions doesn't matter and that winning the Democrat nomination means the election is over. Let's reward that arrogance properly with a vote for Bacon.

frannyzoo said...

Anon 1: Thanks for playing.

Anon 2: No, nothing to take seriously in my post (except maybe the Guv swarmy comment), and thanks for the information on Bacon. As a registered Green myself, I'm happy to vote for Mr. Bacon, and I even see from my handy-dandy Voter Registration card (with mysterious magnetic strip) that I live in PRC #4.

P.S.: Also, as a registered Green, I got a David Bacon mailer a month or two ago. I felt some weird version of pride when I got it.

P.P.S.: I promise I do have serious positions and that voting for John Dendahl is probably not one of them. At the same time, the personal choice process with voting has always intrigued me. When you sit down with people (real people, not campaign obsessed types) it's always very, very interesting to find out why they vote the way they do.

At least it is to me.