Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Sex Predators, Plane Crashes and What Is AG Hip?

I must be getting old and mainstream. I really liked the Jim Belshaw column yesterday about the twistedness of the Madrid/Wilson campaign ads. In part I liked it because I was going to write about the same damn thing after seeing yet another "Patsy is a Sex Predator, no Heather is a Sex Predator" set of spots. I also like the Belshaw piece because it's good and funny. Don't worry, o' cynical Babble faithful...I still don't care for John Trever's cartoons. I'm pretty sure I'll never get old, mainstream and crotchety enough for that. Oh, now that I think about it, I'm already plenty crotchety...I'm just not John Trever kind of crotchety.

As a baseball fan, I'm excited about the playoffs, stoked about the Yankees collapse, and already burned out about the Cory Lidle plane crash. I admit it, I place athletes on a pedestal as icons...I have an unnatural, yet purely platonic, love for old ballplayers like Ed Delahanty and Sam Rice. Still, the amount of coverage about the Lidle crash is ridiculous. Of course it helped the media frenzy that he crashed where and how he did. But, to me, coverage of this extent is demeaning to all the other people who died today for whatever reason. What are they, chopped liver? And what about the other person killed by Lidle's plane? It's almost liked the mafia killed them...they never existed, at least according to every report I saw on the crash.

Okay, enough non Madrid/Wilson news. It's a long story, but I just wrote to someone Back East and told them...get this...that I think Madrid might win. Really. Me, who has wagered (for entertainment purposes only) a number of people over the last few months that Wilson will win. I know your first question is: Scot, have you been drinking? No, seriously, your first question is: why should I care what you think, Scot? No, really seriously, your first question is: Why the change, Scot?

Well, to be honest, I'm not really that sure Madrid will squeak by. In fact, I'm absolutely unconvinced about any specific outcome at this point. All I do know is that Madrid and Wilson are both sex predators....just kidding! No, they are both actually less than sleazy people running campaigns as sleazy as any since Tammany Hall. Given how long the onslaught of politiporn (and now just flat out porn) in the race has lasted I sincerely wonder about voter fatigue and disgust.

I also wonder how much money the local TV stations have made running these months of sleazy ads. No conflct of interest there...no sir. Sex predators and news? Higher Ratings. Sex predators, ads about politicians being soft on sex predators and news? Higher ratings and ad revenue! All the local news programs need is a guy yelling "Hot Babes! Hot Young Studs!" like the ones outside the pre-Giuliani New York City XXX venues. Maybe Dick Knipfing can best be employed for this purpose, especially if he could grow a "porn moustache" as well.

Lastly, I glanced at the Trib "Smart Box" regarding answers the AG candidates made to silly questions like "What do you have on your IPod?" and couldn't help but notice that Republican candidate Jim Bibb answered: "Joe Satriani and contemporary Christian". I'll let the Contemporary Christian stuff slide because I know zilch about that genre...but Joe Satriani? I don't know if I can live in a State with an AG who likes Joe Satriani. I don't know if I want to live in a State that has even one person who likes Satriani living in it. Fortunately, Bibb is far behind Democrat Gary King, who responded with "Tower of Power". In other words...no contest, big band funk over self-indulgent guitar solos anyday, any political office.

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