Monday, January 02, 2006

Proof It's Time To Get Back To Teaching

Courtesy NewMexiKen via the Albuquerque Journal

Okay I just saw the float. Trust me, I'm not a parade guy but while surfing between the "Chain Fake Australian Restaurant Bowl" and the "Outdated Formerly Powerful Plantation Owners Bowl" I stopped at one of the 16 channels of Rose Bowl Parade coverage (proving once again that I don't get popularity). Sure enough, as I'm comfortably laughing my ass off at the folks standing in the pouring rain to look at "floats" here comes Big Bill in some sort of Roseariffic uncovered "wagon" under an "Adobe" house while some mechanical "horse" raises and lowers its "head" like those ultra-lame rides at an amusement park.

Now as someone who doesn't understand popularity, I certainly can't claim any expertise on whether it was a wise marketing decision to spend $165,000 for a Rose Bowl float. Seriously, it could be the best, cheapest advertisement for the State possible. What I do know is that Big Bill was sitting in some Sears plastic poncho gear alongside a woman in identical plastic rain gear. Hard to see clearly, but I immediately wondered if if was Diane Denish sitting next to him, which led to other instantaneous questions: Are they touching? Is she wearing the plastic rain thing not because of the rain, but because of the possibility of touching? Did she make Big Bill wear the plastic for the same reason?

Then my wife pointed out that it was actually Big Bill's wife, and not Diane Denish. Hard to tell in the ultra-sexy rain gear. Still, if it was Barbara Richardson the same exact questions above apply.

A minute or so of coverage included the float hitting a bump and shuddering in a manner that immediately evoked all kinds of hilarious possibilities. It then slunk its 2 m.p.h. way out of the camera frame to be replaced with a live promotion for the "Corporatively Mass Produced Tortilla Chips Are Fun Bowl".

Definitely time to get back into the classroom at this point. This marketing excitment is too much for me, even if I do get to wear slippers.

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