Monday, January 22, 2007

Monday Morning Capote-talk

I tried yesterday. As a bona fide male of the American species, I sat down to watch me some NFL playoff football and validate my existence on the high end of the testosterone scale. I wanted to share in the collective sports-watching experience, able to bat observations around this morning at work with fellow NFL-heads and cocoon in the communal TV-glow of millions and millions of Americans.

I ended up watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's" instead.

Yes, it was Audrey Hepburn for me, despite the fact the Bears/Saints game met my specific conditions for being interested in watching an NFL game:

  1. Played on grass field
  2. Snowing
Using these interest criteria, the Colts/Patriots game was right out. Oh, I'd keep track of the sports news in order to be able to tell colleagues this morning "hey, some Colts game last night, huh?", but actual viewing was unthinkable. Domed stadiums, football?

So it was Bears/Saints or bust, and despite the lack of snow early on at Soldier Field, I spent the first thirty minutes or so splitting time between the execrable Fox football coverage and Turner Classic Movies. Then I noticed myself watching more and more of George Peppard in uber-early 1960s ties, Audrey Hepburn gamely trying to seem amoral and Patricia Neal all dressed up in post-Eisenhowerian middle age moral ambiguity and less and less of Rex Grossman and Drew Brees.

By the 2nd half of the game, where the snow was really flying, I'd almost exclusively switched to the 2nd and 3rd acts of "B@Ts". And I don't even like the movie as a movie. Watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is rather great only as a sociological viewing experiences, an insight into a mythical late 50s, early 60s life in Manhattan to which I find myself unnaturally drawn.

I almost hate to admit it, but I'd rather be George Peppard than Rex Grossman. Does that make me less of anything that I need to care about?

Let's face it, I'm a baseball guy. I like history, I like statistics. NFL football isn't about those things, even or especially when it tries to talk up the positive impact the Saints are having on life in New Orleans. Football, NFL Football, is just plain boring.

Audrey Hepburn is anything but boring, even when she's not really convincing anybody she could ever be a call-girl. Audrey Hepburn is baseball. NFL football is Angelina Jolie. No contest.

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