Bill O'Reilly's Terrorist Attack on My Water Heater

Note to self: In the future, don't have your water heater explode on Christmas Eve at 3:00 A.M.

Cost of new water heater: $400.00
Cost of Emergency Installation of Water Heater on a Saturday Christmas Eve: $7,400,000,000.00

Other notes:

Towels used to sop up old water heater flood waters: 7
Paper towels used: 7.4 billion
Name of City Employee who came out at 3:00 A.M. on Christmas Eve to turn my water off (thanks!): Lawrence Rodriguez
Percentage of remaining emergency water storage used to make coffee this morning: 75%
Percentage of remaining emergency water storage used for toilet matters: hey, we live in the South Valley.
Reasons to put Bill O'Reilly in the "headline" of this blog entry:

1. War/Terror/Christmas...get it? Oh, whatever.
2. I've noticed that whenever I put celebrities in my blog entries I get fascinatingly high numbers of strange visitors to my site even weeks/months afterwards. And who doesn't like strange visitors?

And lastly, merry holidays from 'Burque Babble, and Bill...Bill O'Reilly? If you agree to pay the installation charge for my new water heater, I'll be happy to change "merry holidays" to "Merry Christmas". More than happy.